Jamie

Here is the History of My Hair.

I have thick hair.

Not just, "Oh wow you have pretty thick hair."

like, "Do you have African American relatives?"

My whole life I have had to keep my hair short, because if I let it get too long, it gets poofy.

Every time I get my hair cut, I have them thin it with their thinners, so that the cut will last longer.

In fact, one Christmas my mom gave me my very own pair of thinners. 

On my mission, I bought myself some buzzers and would cut my own hair.  Not to brag or anything, but I feel that I did it pretty good.  Plus I saved about $14 each time I did it. 

As I got married, cutting my own hair became a problem in our relationship.  Ness hates finding little hairs everywhere after I cut it.  So I was forced to go back to the hair salon for my monthly cut.   I hate it.  I feel like I am throwing money away each month.  I also hate when they try to sell you things.  Just cut my hair and get me out of here, no telling me how my hair is in dire shape, and I need this $70 six ounce bottle of  newly discovered herbs.

We recently moved, so I was on prowl for a new place to throw away more money on hair. It turns out there was a Great Clips just down the road.  I stopped in Monday morning to get it over with. 

Then I met Jamie.

I'm gonna put this nicely.  I think Jamie is on crack.  She was so full of energy that it's nauseating.  Especially at 9 in the morning on Presidents Day.  She took me back and I told her I wanted the sides trimmed, and everywhere thinned cause I like everywhere long, it just needs to be thinned.  I also warned her that my hair was really thick.  Here is the biased version of our conversation.

Jamie: "Whoa, your hair is so dry, what shampoo do you use?"

Bradford: "Crew"

J: "Oh, yeah that explains it, you need this Tea Tree one."  (goes off about what it does and what not.  Remember, I just met her like 4 seconds ago and its safe to say I already can't stand her)

B: "Oh"

J: "So do you want to buy it?"

B: "No, I am ok with Crew."

J: "Your hair really needs this new Tea Tree"

B: "No it doesn't"  (in my head)

She goes on to cut my hair.  First off, she cuts my bangs and leaves everywhere else long.  Now I look like some bimbo with long hair and short front hairs.  Then she trimmed my side burns, (unevenly I might add) Then she proceeded to thin my hair...

She blitzed through the entire thing, talking about how "When you get home, you will think you are shedding because I am thinning it so much"  No really?  come on sister, this isn't the first time I have gotten it thinned.  As she was going, she jumped and said, "Ouch!"  Then continued on with thinning.  I thought nothing of it since by this time I thought she was delusional.  5 Minutes later she was done.  She rang me up, slid my card and handed it back to me.  I look down to see this (Mind you, this picture is after my card has been in my wallet)

 I look up at her finger and it is covered in blood.   She stinking cut my hair with a bloody finger!  I signed that thing and pieced outta there.  I got home and showered right away with my 2nd hand shampoo and conditioner.  

Never again am I going to Great Clips or anything like that.

-The Gap