The buck stops here

A few weeks ago I noticed a nice 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke sitting in the fridge where I work.  It has been in there for a while and no one has been drinking it.  At my work, there are often meetings where companies come in and sell us stuff about insurance and what not.  Out of good will, they usually bring food and drinks, often the drinks are in 2 liter bottles.  What doesn't get eaten or drunk gets put down in the kitchen and is up for grabs.  Being a reasonable man, I figured that this was left overs from a meeting earlier in the week.  Craving the sweet taste of Diet Coke, I decided I was going to be pro-active and crack that baby open and pour me a nice cup.  

(It's sad that I like Diet Coke, I know.  I am very aware that it is a women's drink.  Especially when we go out to eat and say, "Diet Coke...With Lime"  The waiter always gives me a little smirk like, "Would you like a tampon with your Lime Diet Coke?" All this is soon forgotten when I get that wonderful drink)  

I thoroughly enjoyed that Diet Coke at work.  I went on thinking nothing of it.  Two weeks later, I notice no one has taken a sip except for the dent that I put in it.  So, being the dominant male that I am, I claimed it as mine and poured another cup.  It wasn't as fizzy as it was when I first had it because it had gotten a little flat.  Or so I thought.  I go and take a big swig as I am walking back up to my desk when my mouth is filled with the most rancid taste that has ever touched my tongue, throat, and stomach.  It was an orange-ish taste mixed with a soapy taste.  I almost spewed in the sink.  As I spit it out, I looked up and there sat the dish washing soap.  What flavor was it you ask?  Orange.  The presumed owner of the DC put dish soap in it to get back at me for opening her drink.

I just got my A handed to me.  I fell right into some kiniver's trap (Probably a woman, since it is a woman's drink)  I feel so violated.  My first thoughts were, "She can't do this to me"  Then I realized I was in the wrong for opening and taking some.  Still though, I am way mad that I got punked so well.  I need to get some revenge on this sinister sister.  


The Gap